One of my best friends, who is actually more like my sister has started a new Friday night ministry. For people who are hungry for the Lord, ready to go deeper. I am certainly in that category, and tonight was the kick off. I am sure I have never prayed like that before in my life. After I let the parade in my head go by, I concentrated on God. So much, I am ready to leap into the waters, and at the same time, it is so scary, because I don't know how deep the water will be.
I must confess, I have sin in my life. My thought life is a mess. I am judgmental. I harbor bitterness, let it go, and pick it up again. I forgive, but make note of the transgression, then I pull it up in my mind later. I compromise my beliefs with non-believers to keep the converstion comfortable. Many times, I am praying out loud, wondering if someone thinks I am amazing or smart. Not just a pretty face here. I have an ugly side too. I covet my friends' blessings. When I go out of my way for someone, I may do it for the right reasons, but I wait for recognition, or in other words- glory. SINFUL!!! All Glory goes to the Father. I am his servant, not his glory collector. Purge me Lord. Take the uglies out of me.....
That sounds great, does it not? Ooooohhh, letting myself out there, telling you all my struggle. That is the pretty side of my struggle. The darker side is still tucked deep inside me. Will I reveal it? Probably not in this forum, and at least right now, not anywhere else either. However, I am hungry, I know he has more for me, and I am not going to get it by picking my nose. Sitting here, at almost midnight, I am not here to show off. At least not anything but my sin, my shortcomings, my faults. Why? Because I want to grow, I am confessing to whoever will see, because I am done with this me. We should all stop and ask why we are here. Who did God create me to be? What kind of heart did he create me to have?
So many times, we are consumed with our occupations and what we have or need to get, we abandon our hearts. If we make the choice to pick up our cross, stop being selfish and run after Jesus, we will find fulfillment. Remember, he created us... Don't you think he knows what will truly fulfill us? And, since he took the time to think us up, one by one, don't you think he is good enough to bless us with it? I do. But not if we are too busy to listen, or to proud to look silly to the world. I am sick of worrying about what you think about me, and gambling away my calling. I have a calling on my life, and so do you. Would it not suck to get to heaven and God say, "I had so much more for you, but you wouldn't listen." I don't want to hear that. I want to impact the world for HIS GLORY. I want to give him my all. what about you?
I must confess, I have sin in my life. My thought life is a mess. I am judgmental. I harbor bitterness, let it go, and pick it up again. I forgive, but make note of the transgression, then I pull it up in my mind later. I compromise my beliefs with non-believers to keep the converstion comfortable. Many times, I am praying out loud, wondering if someone thinks I am amazing or smart. Not just a pretty face here. I have an ugly side too. I covet my friends' blessings. When I go out of my way for someone, I may do it for the right reasons, but I wait for recognition, or in other words- glory. SINFUL!!! All Glory goes to the Father. I am his servant, not his glory collector. Purge me Lord. Take the uglies out of me.....
That sounds great, does it not? Ooooohhh, letting myself out there, telling you all my struggle. That is the pretty side of my struggle. The darker side is still tucked deep inside me. Will I reveal it? Probably not in this forum, and at least right now, not anywhere else either. However, I am hungry, I know he has more for me, and I am not going to get it by picking my nose. Sitting here, at almost midnight, I am not here to show off. At least not anything but my sin, my shortcomings, my faults. Why? Because I want to grow, I am confessing to whoever will see, because I am done with this me. We should all stop and ask why we are here. Who did God create me to be? What kind of heart did he create me to have?
So many times, we are consumed with our occupations and what we have or need to get, we abandon our hearts. If we make the choice to pick up our cross, stop being selfish and run after Jesus, we will find fulfillment. Remember, he created us... Don't you think he knows what will truly fulfill us? And, since he took the time to think us up, one by one, don't you think he is good enough to bless us with it? I do. But not if we are too busy to listen, or to proud to look silly to the world. I am sick of worrying about what you think about me, and gambling away my calling. I have a calling on my life, and so do you. Would it not suck to get to heaven and God say, "I had so much more for you, but you wouldn't listen." I don't want to hear that. I want to impact the world for HIS GLORY. I want to give him my all. what about you?
4 comments:
I love you! :)
I love you too. I am so blessed to have all these big sisters around me. Having you women has grown me so much more than would be possible without you.
beautiful, I am in the same boat with you, laying all down to get to what God wants. I LOVE YOU!
I could not agree more...It's time to live for the Jesus who came to save us. Giving it all up for the glory of what He has!
Post a Comment