And he is gone.

I didn't cry. Well, not at the airport. I pulled away, leaving my rock standing under the Alaska Airlines sign. It was 6:30am. Jairus and I went home, and at 10:00am we were at church for pre-service prayer. One thing I can say, I love my church family. Pastor Brad had such a genuineness in his voice when he asked me how I was. Katie offered help immediatly. Then it was time for prayer. We prayed over our congregation, the lost, and Orting, and Brad. Then, Brad called everyone in to lay hands on Jairus and I and pray. Then came the tears. Our creator is so uncomprehensible when it comes to His ways. I KNOW this is for a purpose. Not just so Tim can get tased and maced, then wear a really hot uniform. I believe God is going to use this for something great in our family. The last time Tim left for a long period, we had a new marriage and friendship by the time he came home, AND I gave my life to Jesus! I am counting on big changes. There are going to be hard days, but I think God is going to show me what I am all about, places of me I never knew, and I think he is going to help me to put to rest places in me I don't need anymore. As for Tim, he is going to be a light. He is justice and integrity, and not because he is a cop now. He is that way because he walks with the Lord. My Tim is a good man, and he is going to be a blessing wherever God places him.

Getting into mischief!

I was getting ready to help out at church yesterday. Coming out of the bathroom, heading into the living room, I see my 3 year old sitting on the couch with a tub of Ovaltine! He looks up at me and the only thing he says is, "It's good." All over my couch, powder and a healthy mixture of it mixed with toddler spit! Sitting there, Jairus is scooping out handfuls of the chocolate milk mix, and eating it out of his hands. So much so, it looks like he is wearing wet brown gloves! Running late, I didn't even say a word, I wasn't sure how to handle it, so I tossed him in the tub to let the cowagulated chocolate melt in the warm water. While he is in the tub, I vacuum the dry powder. I decided to tackle the gooey spots when I get home. How does this happen at the MOST inconvienent moments? Like on my way to SERVE THE LORD? But let me tell you all something awesome! Microfiber is the best fabric EVER! When we got home, I dampened a cloth and used hand sanitizer, and I can't even tell where he violated my sofa. That is something I am so thankful for, my couch has been put to the test-several times, and has passed with flying colors. Our sofa was worth every penny.

Getting nervous

Tim is leaving on Sunday, EARLY. The reality is setting in. Or maybe it isn't, and it won't until he is gone for a few weeks. I am so blessed to be a stay at home mom, I am in awe of how single mothers do it, with a 40 hr. a week job. For 3 years, I have been home, and I still fail to get it all done. What ever am I going to do when my Succulent leaves?!
About a year ago, I posted something about the terrible twos. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT!!! I am the woman in public with the unruly child that I used to think, "what is wrong with her and her kid?" I AM HER! The will of a toddler rivals that of criminal in a high speed chase; who would rather crash into on coming traffic, and go up in a fury of flames, then surrender to the cops. I am sure I could spray my child with Mace, and he would still give me his opinion! And now, my husband is leaving, and it is just going to be me. I am scared I will be in the corner with my thumb in my mouth rocking with a blanket, covering my ears! God HELP ME! Many of you know, we have been struggling through the potty training, and my good friend Kim says, "It might get worse when Tim leaves." Thank you BEST FRIEND! :) That is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. More good news for the pseudo-single mom! Needless to say, I am a little apprehensive about being ALONE with this toddler for 5 months. Don't get me wrong, I totally love my boy, but I may like me a little better with a mainline of Prozac. All kidding aside, this is going to be a huge change for me. If nothing else, I hope this is time for me to really lean on the Lord for the strength to get through. I am sure this will be my release, so hopefully someone can get a laugh out of this next season.

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my
salvation
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the defense of my life;
Whom shall I dread?
When evildoers came
upon me to devour my flesh,
My adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell.
Though a host encamp against me,
My heart will not fear;
Though war arise against me,
In spite of this I shall be confident.

One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord
And to meditate in His temple.
For in the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle;
In the secret place of His tent He will hide me;
He will lift me up on a rock.
And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me;
And I will offer in His tent sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.

Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice,
And be gracious to me and answer me.
When Thou didst say, "Seek My face," my heart said to Thee,
"Thy face, O Lord, I shall seek."
Do not hide Thy face from me.
Do not turn Thy servant away in anger;
Thou hast been my help;
Do not abandon me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation!
For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
But the Lord will take me up.

Teach me Thy way, O Lord,
And lead me in a level path,
Because of my foes.
Do not deliver me over to the desire of my adversaries;
For false witnesses have risen against me,
And such as breathe out violence.
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
Be strong, and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.

Last night was another intense time of worship and prayer to our God. I love it. Soaking in his presence is so refreshing. Gathering together with others, praying and asking our Abba Father in unison is powerful! It says when two or more agree it shall be done! When I got home last night, I opened my Bible, and God gave me the above scripture. Perfect for where I am and what I am going through. If you know the situation, then you know how snugly this scripture fits me. If you are curious, I am more than happy to share how God is moving. For those of you who want that deeper time, or are in need of prayer, PLEASE COME!!! Friday Nights @ Abundant Life in Orting www.ortingfoursquare.com for directions.

4th of July!

What a brilliant idea from Sarah. We all met (Tachenys, Barnards, McCalls, Zitnys, Nesbys, Slagowskis, and the Moores) up at Les Grove Park. It is a large sprawling park with this sprinkler park Sam has become so fond of. And I can see why. We set up close to the sprinklers, and Jairus was in and out of there all day. There were all kinds of vendors there, and rides for the kids. $5 bought unlimited rides for the day. It was great!

Jairus and his buddy Elaina.


































Taking a ride on the train. By this time, he was getting really cranky. After this ride, I took him to lay in the shade for a much needed nap.

























We watched the fireworks up in the Buttes. Beautiful. We were able to see the Orting show, and all the fireworks in the neighborhoods and up on South Hill.



































1 Zitny and 2 Nesbys. I love these girls.

Friday Night - ALIVE

One of my best friends, who is actually more like my sister has started a new Friday night ministry. For people who are hungry for the Lord, ready to go deeper. I am certainly in that category, and tonight was the kick off. I am sure I have never prayed like that before in my life. After I let the parade in my head go by, I concentrated on God. So much, I am ready to leap into the waters, and at the same time, it is so scary, because I don't know how deep the water will be.
I must confess, I have sin in my life. My thought life is a mess. I am judgmental. I harbor bitterness, let it go, and pick it up again. I forgive, but make note of the transgression, then I pull it up in my mind later. I compromise my beliefs with non-believers to keep the converstion comfortable. Many times, I am praying out loud, wondering if someone thinks I am amazing or smart. Not just a pretty face here. I have an ugly side too. I covet my friends' blessings. When I go out of my way for someone, I may do it for the right reasons, but I wait for recognition, or in other words- glory. SINFUL!!! All Glory goes to the Father. I am his servant, not his glory collector. Purge me Lord. Take the uglies out of me.....
That sounds great, does it not? Ooooohhh, letting myself out there, telling you all my struggle. That is the pretty side of my struggle. The darker side is still tucked deep inside me. Will I reveal it? Probably not in this forum, and at least right now, not anywhere else either. However, I am hungry, I know he has more for me, and I am not going to get it by picking my nose. Sitting here, at almost midnight, I am not here to show off. At least not anything but my sin, my shortcomings, my faults. Why? Because I want to grow, I am confessing to whoever will see, because I am done with this me. We should all stop and ask why we are here. Who did God create me to be? What kind of heart did he create me to have?
So many times, we are consumed with our occupations and what we have or need to get, we abandon our hearts. If we make the choice to pick up our cross, stop being selfish and run after Jesus, we will find fulfillment. Remember, he created us... Don't you think he knows what will truly fulfill us? And, since he took the time to think us up, one by one, don't you think he is good enough to bless us with it? I do. But not if we are too busy to listen, or to proud to look silly to the world. I am sick of worrying about what you think about me, and gambling away my calling. I have a calling on my life, and so do you. Would it not suck to get to heaven and God say, "I had so much more for you, but you wouldn't listen." I don't want to hear that. I want to impact the world for HIS GLORY. I want to give him my all. what about you?

Father's Day

Laid back and stress free! Those are the best holidays. Tim went for a shoot in the morning and got a 3rd place place. Nothing like celebrating mediocrity. LOL. He did great and was up against far more experienced shooters. We met up at Jeremy and Sam's. The kids got creative and turned a blanket and stairs into a ride. Sam and Jeremy made steak and shrimp, and I brought the ice cream. Good day, relaxing, and some good beer.

I am so thankful for Tim, and for what a great dad he is. That has brought much healing to my heart. Thank you, my Succulent for being a great dad.

And the potty training continues....

Read the Rainiers post firs so you are caught up...
So this morning, he still hadn't pooped. It had been over 24 hours, and now I am really nervous. What if it comes like a lightning bolt at strikes with deadly force? He has had all the mandatory baseball game food, plus tortillas with hot sauce, and more. This bomb could be really bad. At about 11am, I hear him, "I poop, I poop." Which usually means he has already started and is running to the bathroom with a trail of turds in his wake. But this time was different. Thank you JESUS, this time was different. I go to assist him, and he sits on the potty. I have to make him stay there to give the poo a chance to make its way out into the world. And there it is, a fantastic, totally in the toilet poo! I see light at the end of the diaper tunnel! I hope this is the start of more poos in the potty!

Rainiers Game

Our church got together to go to a Tacoma Rainiers game. Not an ideal place to take a potty training child. Poor Jim and Carrie and their 4 kids along with Bethany and Brad and their 4 kids were the constant victims of Jairus' needs. I wasn't sure what to do, make him wait and risk him peeing or worse POOPING his pants, so about a dozen times last night, they had to get up so we could pass them and run to the bathroom. Once we get there, another problem arises, he is afraid of public bathrooms. By the time it is our turn to go, he is protesting, "no potty, no pee." I am sure the other mothers think I am terrible. Finally with much struggling, he goes. Then I find myself walking around the stadium with him

because I don't want to force our Pastor and his
family out of their seats, yet again only to have
Jairus tell me he has to go 30 seconds later.

Thankfully, these families have gone through this
beforeand were very gracious to Jairus' whims. By the time the fireworks came around, I was ready to go. Jairus hadn't pooped at all yesterday, and I was nervous it would come on him so fast he would just let it go. The fireworks dispay was awesome, I was really impressed. However, don't let my pitures be the judge, I didn't capture the best part of them. All in all it was a great time, and I am eager to see Jairus enjoy watching a game when he is bigger.

Full time stay at home mom

Tim and I have been talking about me quitting for some time. With him leaving and our adoption on the horizon, we thought it best I leave the gym. So yesterday, I graciously gave my two weeks. Now, that I know I will no longer be an employee, finishing out the last days, I thought would be hard. However, that was taken care of for me. The boss lady called me today and said they covered my shifts for me, so I was no longer needed. That is nice, except for one fact, I gave two weeks notice, I deserve the same courtesy. I have enjoyed working there, but am left a little ticked. I suppose it is a blessing in disguise. More time with my boys and more time to get done some much needed house work. I am praying for supernatural provision, my income has been helping more since Tim switched jobs, and now we are out that money. But our God is good and big, and I know he will take care of us. I also need to make my body and the Lord priorities. I need prayer for renewed strength, and endurance. I want this time to be the Lord's, to use me how he sees fit. My spirit is stirred, and I sense there are new things coming to my life. Maybe this job was getting in the way of that.

INSPECTOR NAUGHTY PANTS!

Here is the debut of an officer coming near you! Tim got to play dress up and try on the uniform he will be wearing proudly as Inspector Barnard (naughty pants) for Federal Protective Service! I am so proud of my law upholding man!

Family by the fireside

Times like this are my favorite! Chillin' with family, no rush, good conversation, and kids' laughter in the background. The $10 firepit has more than made it worth the effort. My brother and sister and my nieces came over around 6ish. We had some chips and salsa while the kids played and waited for Tim to come home. The boys got the fire going and we had polish sausage for dinner. So awesome. Minimal cleanup for me too (thanks to Sam)! Later we got around the firepit for marshmallow time. The boys were later left to chat alone around the glow of the fire, while Sam and I took the kids inside for a movie. Before we knew it, the time was 11pm! Staying up was so worth it, I enjoy my family so very much. God is good!



This little miss is 9 months already! She has quite the little personality!

The brothers talking business

Sam showing Miah how to roast the perfect mallo. She was very eager to make a special one just for her daddy. Miah is turning into quite the little lady, she is a big helper every where she goes.

These two don't fight as much as they used to. They spent most of the evening playing in the sand and laughing at each other.

And eating sand.

Good day!

Maddy (our foster home study worker) came today. We did the last half of my home study, and she will be finishing Tim's later this month. Today was talk about my childhood day. It was not as hard for me as I had expected it to be, but the past still hurts. Through the whole thing, she was so encouraging and affirming. I love that we get to go through this process with Godly people!

Where do we go from here? Now, we are waiting for Tim to get his half done, and our home inspectors will send all our stuff to the state. From there, it is on the state's watch to get out license. I am anxious, but we are still a ways off. Tim and I are not being placed until he gets back from cop training. For now, I am thankful for what God has brought me through. He has redeemed my dismal life from so long ago and given me new purpose and heart. The God we serve is so good!

Gotta vent

Okay.... What is up with the liberal world? I don't fully understand politics (maybe Kim and David need to school me up), but I do know this- Liberalism is the work of the devil. Why do people believe every experience should be a "feel good, whatever works for you" kind of encounter? Why does society think rules no longer apply, and if there are any and you don't like them, then change them? Does any one look at a politician's voting record before making a decision? How does someone who believes in family vote for an abortion happy president? I really am an amateur when it comes to politics, but even I am clear to see what a BAD decision our "president" was.

How is it, that a country founded on the principles of Christianity is so quick to turn against what made this country great? Now, in this world, we Conservative Christians are mocked for our moral standards. We are fighting an upriver battle with the current of liberalism. Where are liberals getting their values from? Where do they run for truth? Or do they make it up as they go along? I know where I get mine from. The Bible. I have ONE place to turn for my morals, for my truth. I run the world through the Word, and anything that does not match up is not for me. What about you, liberal? What is your truth, where are you getting it from?

I am sick of hearing, "as long as you are a good person, you can go to heaven." What the HE-- does that mean? Who decides if you are good enough- you? How can someone believe what Oprah says, "All pathways lead to God." Ummm, there is only ONE God. Hinduism contradicts Christianity, so is our God a hypocrite? If someone says murdering people makes him feel closer to God, does that mean he has a relationship with The Lord? Why do people believe God is supposed to make you feel good? God is our father, and like us, he has boundaries for his children. Just because our kids don't like the rules, does that mean they don't apply? NO! The rules are there just the same. And if they don't obey, then there are concequences. Why do we have rules for our kids? Because we love them, just as God loves us. Just like God, when our kids violate our standards, we have concequences. The Bible says a parent who does not discipline their child, hates their child. Do you hate your child? Should God hate you, and not discipline you? No, of course not. Thankfully, we have the blood of Jesus to pay for our sins and get us right with God.

Memorial Day

Last week, I wanted to go to Snoqualmie Falls for Memorial Day. Tim and I decided not to go, because we wanted to enjoy the day without crowds. Instead, we made the BEAUTIFUL!!! drive to Greenwater. So instead of large crowds, we ran into a lot of dirty hippies. As we parked, Tim read the bumper stickers of other park goers, and how beauty is disrupted by liberal, granola eating hippies. But we were not going to let any socalist ruin our day, we still had a great time.

Jairus had to have a walking stick.

A cliff wall on the other side of the river.

Standing at the shore.

Crossing the river.

Walking back. We made it about a mile an a half, and there was too much snow to continue, so we headed back. Three miles is a lot on a 2 year old's legs. Tim took us to an ice cream shop, and we each had a scoop. For dinner, we went to the Ram. When we got home, Tim and I threw down on some yard work. Slowly I am growing an appreciation for that chore. SLOWLY. Tim and I have even talked about me taking some gardening classes. We'll see.

So Sarah tagged us.

So, we were tagged by Sarah. I pulled out a picture cd, and this is what I found. I couldn't choose just one so here are a few of the first months of Jairus' life.

Here, he was just shy of two weeks old.

Sleeping with Daddy

I couldn't resist, Doodles looks so cute and harmless here.

Having tummy time.

The Daddy Slayer

I don't think I have spent money on a better toy. For $2, I got these swords, and they have offered hours of fun for my guys.

Straight to the face.

The fatal blow. The Daddy has been slayed.

Bring your kids to work day.

Tim's new job comes with a lot of perks. One of them being bring your kids to work day. These kids had an entire day planned for them. I can't wait for next year to be there next year

Gabe Zitny and Jairus in the police car.

Getting ready for the ride.

Look at the new cars the FPS force got. NICE. Tim will be driving either one of these or a charger.

I love the Zitny girls, they are so good with Jairus. Pseudo sisters.

Waiting to get booked. While they were there, they got fingerprinted and got mug shots.

MacGruff the Crime Dog. As the Zitny boys would say, "Who is inside you." All the men took turns being MacGruff, even Tim. The boys kept asking why he changed his shoes.

Trying to cross his arms.